Plans

I really have been out of touch for a while, life has kinda been happening and I just let it take me along! Work has been pretty crazy with the strike and having the second job is enjoyable but it does put some strain on me, physically and emotionally!

It was nice to have some friends visit from the 'Big city'. My best friend and 3 other friends came to visit for the weekend, wanted me to show them around my town. So I did just that, took them to a couple of the sights and then out on the town... This place doesn't have much of a night life but I did what I could! I even made a plan to DJ for them at the place I learnt at. The weekend taught me a lot, the most profound thing is that people change whether they willing or not. And that change can either be positive or negative. The change isn't necessarily a personality change, but a change in the perception of life and its happenings and the willingness to accept your surroundings. I never came to this town with any expectations, I'm not the type of person to rule out possibilities and opportunities in a situation! My friends came here and although I personally don't love this town I do hold it in pretty high regard, they judged and commented on everything including my new friends! I'm not a hypocrite, I know I judge at times! But picking apart the life I've made for myself isn't cool! The question is now, do I say something about it or do I leave it be? The 'Big City' friends seemed so snobbish that my friends here even commented on it!

I don't know what to say! My life has never revolved around other people, I have always spent time most of my time alone and I always will! And people have never defined who I am either! So it fascinated me to see how people adapt, not necessarily change, to survive in the lifestyle and their social circles! And also how when faced with a new lifestyle or social circle, one becomes hostile towards it purely because of it being strange and different to yours!

With that said, when you come to accept the difference what happens to your perception of what was? Does that change too?

I have set a goal for myself, just one fairly permanent goal! I want to be in the United Kingdom by the end of June next year. That gives me 9 months to get everything into place. The council registration takes about 4 months and I have to save a fair amount of money just for that! Hopefully will get that done by February next year! Just a matter of time I guess! :D

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Wow

Wow it's been a while! Lots to tell but honestly there isn't anything exciting. This is going to be a different post, I feel the need to be more expressive and to share more. Just after my last post, I left for a week away with my best friend in the Kruger National Park. It was so relaxing and really beautiful. It was however the end of winter and the fires had ripped through most of the park in preparation for the new growth of spring. The first bright green shoots were beginning to appear in the blackness. Random, but 'Bambi' story comes to mind. We saw the Big 5 several times over and got some great shots. Which ill post when I get the photos from my friend.

I came back planning on gyming hard, getting ripped for summer… I still however haven't started my diet or a proper gym program. The motivation isn't exactly there, well, the motivation is but the energy isn't. It makes me feel depressed that I don't have the will power to start this and carry through with it. I could blame the numerous interruptions and occasions that have come up that have resulted in late nights, parties and bad food, but its my own fault.

I DJ'ed at a friends birthday two weekends ago, and it was really good. I enjoy playing commercial house music, easy to listen to and most people enjoy it. Hopefully something more will come of it, we'll see what the future holds. The party was pretty rocking, alcohol flowed. People were making out with one another. I must be honest, I wasn't one of those people unfortunately and I didn't drink a lot either.

Oh, just remembered, I got my tongue pierced! If you follow me in twitter you would know. Random you may think that I just remembered, but it has been 2 weeks and you kinda don't know its there. It wasn't painful in the beginning, but the day after it was so uncomfortable and I struggled to eat. Rearranging food in your mouth was quite an interesting task. Still haven't been able to put it to good use if you know what I'm trying to get it. It does keep me occupied when I'm bored tho J

I started a bar job last week Friday, in hopes of trying to earn extra cash to save to go overseas to work next year. Pays well and get to be out without actually spending money. It's a pub that most of my friends hang out at anyway which is cool. It is pretty draining, working 11-12 hour shift after working a 9-5 job. But it's gonna be worth it in the end I'm telling myself.

Hopefully I will start blogging more regularly again! :)

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Thank you Lane

"It's 5:20 a.m. here, so I'll leave you with these thoughts. I know you feel somewhat trapped because of where you are and the limited selection of suitable people. This is all part of a lesson of how to make a new life when you relocate which surrounds yourself with lots of people who are friends, lovers, Fuck Buds, whomever, but a wide circle none the less, so if one drops out, you are never alone. This is a key way to build a harmonious life, because there are always going to be disappointments. That's just part of life, for everyone. Knowing this an planning ahead for those almost guaranteed eventualities protects yourself. This is a time for meditation, thought about how you got to this place and all the things you can do differently to structure your new life to be full of abundance and lots of personalities. Know this Ryan, that no matter how much money you have, no matter what your situation, there are ups and downs in everyone's life. The vast majority of people choose to keep these moments private. With social media, you have no doubt observed so many guys express their lows and their highs. All of this events are lessons for a young man like you. Anticipating the potholes in life is an art. Knowing how to dodge takes skill, all of which you will develop. Each day you learn something new about yourself, if you take the time to note it. As we discussed before, you can use this time to prepare for your next adventure in ways that will enable you to choreograph your life instead of being drug through it. This means planning out where you live, to where you can walk through commercial districts that increase your chance of that random meeting, which are the very best life has to offer to find your soul mate. Those random chance meetings are the most valuable and productive. So, December is not all that far off. Think about writing a daily diary. Record your thoughts and you will most certainly be surprised about your change of mood and what influenced those changes. If you don't like what you see on rereading, then that helps you plan your life accordingly in the future. Seriously, each and every decision you make, no matter how trivial, especially about the path of your daily routine can make the difference in so many ways, primarily bumping into Mister Right. I am a firm believer in this, because as I told you, so many older guys have told me the exact same thing. That is where you find true love....love at first sight. So please, think about these concepts and the power of positive thinking. Focus on your next adventure and not what you can't have today because you have the very best years of your life ahead of you. And someone very lucky is going to have you. Putting yourself in that path of discovery is what planning your life is all about. The unknown adventures are those of discovery, learning and growth.......Things are so much different today. The possibilities are limited only by your imagination, spirit and drive to make things happen for yourself. And I see the creativity and drive in you to make all of this happen with just a little forethought and planning." - Lane

To a dear friend, Lane, I thank you for your inspiration and support!
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Love Whore

Why do I do this to myself? I knew exactly before it began what would happen...

On friday night, I hooked up with my crush (Yes, he still has a girlfriend, she was there too). It is amazing what alcohol can do...

I am one of those guys, that gives all into a relationships and falls in love very easily! Especially when intimacy is involved! It has happened many times before, and I've let it happen again :( Clearly the fact that he has a girlfriend doesn't mean a thing to my emotions - Stupid damn emotions! I feel like a 12 year old boy! Just wanna scream!

I know I can't expect anything from him!
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Sigh...

Just had to post this! One of the reasons I watch rugby!
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Somebody to Love

Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?

(He works hard)

Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah

Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!

Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
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I don't know what to do :(

Sitting at home all day isn't the most exciting thing I can think of and doesn't help when you have an over active mind. I came to the conclusion that I don't have a clue what I want to do with my life, like everyone I have the normal desires for a happy, fulfilled life. At the same time, I really do have the world at my doorstep! And there are so many possibilities!

I have a degree behind me, one would think it confines me to one career, but it really doesn't! I do, however, wish I was told what to do. Life is difficult as it is, without having to decide what path to take...

HELP!?!
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