As I write this post, I am sitting listening to the soundtrack from "The Holiday" sipping on my glass of Pinotage Shiraz with dinner on the stove. My mind is filled with the mellow vibes that resound in my little bachelor flat. I pretty much have everything one could ask for in about a 6 meter radius. Oh wait... no not really. Sigh...
I have realized that my blogs seem pretty monotonous and contradictory. I seem to make promises to myself and never follow through with them. So I have decided to stop making promises I might not be able to keep in terms of my blog.
The last couple weeks have been a bit of a roller coaster. I went away for about 4 days just to get some relief from the pressures of everyday life and basically to reset myself. The resetting didn't really work... Work started and everything went pretty much back to normal. That's the way it is with every holiday though, after day 1 back at the office things aren't any different to when you left.
I have learnt or realized a few things, which I guess I knew already and would seem to be common sense. Number 1... The hot guy that you have fun with on occasion and wants a girlfriend, isn't going to love you or give you anymore affection than he did or didn't already give you. You're just another 'shag'... and whatever events preceding the 'shag' however good it makes you feel, it's still just another shag...
Secondly, hopeless romantic thoughts about what could or might be will just depress you even more. Especially when you find out that... "the guy" (BOB)... has started seeing a girl... What do you do? Carry on pining for what may or may not have been? No, you accept that he wasn't worth your time in the first place. You must realize that whatever sexual satisfaction you gained is yours to keep. I mean you have to accept the situation for what it is and move on...
In all honesty, as much as you wish to take control of your life and make your destiny, whether you like it or not, your path is predestined.
but keep in mind, there are always people in your life (actual or virtual), that want to see you happy. Shouting at the side lines...
(The photo's are of gay diver Matthew Mitcham :))
