Thank you Lane

"It's 5:20 a.m. here, so I'll leave you with these thoughts. I know you feel somewhat trapped because of where you are and the limited selection of suitable people. This is all part of a lesson of how to make a new life when you relocate which surrounds yourself with lots of people who are friends, lovers, Fuck Buds, whomever, but a wide circle none the less, so if one drops out, you are never alone. This is a key way to build a harmonious life, because there are always going to be disappointments. That's just part of life, for everyone. Knowing this an planning ahead for those almost guaranteed eventualities protects yourself. This is a time for meditation, thought about how you got to this place and all the things you can do differently to structure your new life to be full of abundance and lots of personalities. Know this Ryan, that no matter how much money you have, no matter what your situation, there are ups and downs in everyone's life. The vast majority of people choose to keep these moments private. With social media, you have no doubt observed so many guys express their lows and their highs. All of this events are lessons for a young man like you. Anticipating the potholes in life is an art. Knowing how to dodge takes skill, all of which you will develop. Each day you learn something new about yourself, if you take the time to note it. As we discussed before, you can use this time to prepare for your next adventure in ways that will enable you to choreograph your life instead of being drug through it. This means planning out where you live, to where you can walk through commercial districts that increase your chance of that random meeting, which are the very best life has to offer to find your soul mate. Those random chance meetings are the most valuable and productive. So, December is not all that far off. Think about writing a daily diary. Record your thoughts and you will most certainly be surprised about your change of mood and what influenced those changes. If you don't like what you see on rereading, then that helps you plan your life accordingly in the future. Seriously, each and every decision you make, no matter how trivial, especially about the path of your daily routine can make the difference in so many ways, primarily bumping into Mister Right. I am a firm believer in this, because as I told you, so many older guys have told me the exact same thing. That is where you find true love....love at first sight. So please, think about these concepts and the power of positive thinking. Focus on your next adventure and not what you can't have today because you have the very best years of your life ahead of you. And someone very lucky is going to have you. Putting yourself in that path of discovery is what planning your life is all about. The unknown adventures are those of discovery, learning and growth.......Things are so much different today. The possibilities are limited only by your imagination, spirit and drive to make things happen for yourself. And I see the creativity and drive in you to make all of this happen with just a little forethought and planning." - Lane

To a dear friend, Lane, I thank you for your inspiration and support!
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Love Whore

Why do I do this to myself? I knew exactly before it began what would happen...

On friday night, I hooked up with my crush (Yes, he still has a girlfriend, she was there too). It is amazing what alcohol can do...

I am one of those guys, that gives all into a relationships and falls in love very easily! Especially when intimacy is involved! It has happened many times before, and I've let it happen again :( Clearly the fact that he has a girlfriend doesn't mean a thing to my emotions - Stupid damn emotions! I feel like a 12 year old boy! Just wanna scream!

I know I can't expect anything from him!
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Sigh...

Just had to post this! One of the reasons I watch rugby!
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Somebody to Love

Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?

(He works hard)

Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah

Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!

Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
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I don't know what to do :(

Sitting at home all day isn't the most exciting thing I can think of and doesn't help when you have an over active mind. I came to the conclusion that I don't have a clue what I want to do with my life, like everyone I have the normal desires for a happy, fulfilled life. At the same time, I really do have the world at my doorstep! And there are so many possibilities!

I have a degree behind me, one would think it confines me to one career, but it really doesn't! I do, however, wish I was told what to do. Life is difficult as it is, without having to decide what path to take...

HELP!?!
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What do guys want?

Well, where do I start, hmmm!?! At the moment I'm sick in bed and I'm off until monday, which is nice but wouldn't mind having someone lying in bed next to me! But I've learnt to be patient, most of my previous relationships I ran into and ended within 6 months!

Do guys want relationships even? I mean everyone wants to be happy and loved, but guys are strange creatures (Yes you know you are), and gay guys are even more strange. I don't know how to explain it, maybe it's the need for physical/sexual contact? But in most same sex relationships, sex is the first thing that happens. Or am I completely wrong? I mean it's not a bad thing, but physical attraction isn't everything in a relationship! So it's hard to know if the person you with is just there for the sex or if they really want to be with!?! Aaaargh!

I must admit that after my first 'homo' relationship I had, I was seduced by the same guy into sleeping with him. We broke up because he felt he couldn't handle the relationship, then after the seduction he blamed me for the breakup and then proceeded to beg for me to take him back - literally! Because that's not annoying and uncomfortable!

Hence, my view of 'homo' relationships is quite distorted, even though I still long for that 'idealistic/perfect' relationship!
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10 Thins I Hate About You

10 Things I Hate About You


I hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you your my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate the way you smile,
and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around,
and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,
not even close
not even a little bit
not even at all.
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