Emotions on your sleeve...

I know a lot of people that share everything about themselves with the world. Every little detail is open to scrutiny and judgment, and even though in some ways I admire that, it sets you up for an attack from people around you. A little gripe with the boyfriend, the sad, emotional songs get posted. Every 5 minutes posting "I love you"s on their facebook wall... I'm definitely not having a go at anyone in particular, but I'm sure we're all aware of it.

I'm not completely innocent here, I guess this blog is a way of me wearing my emotions on my sleeve, but the majority of people that read it are my close friends and know me very well anyway. If I had to write this on facebook, where people I hardly even know (my 'friends') read it, then that would be something completely different. I hope the people that come here to read what I have to say, do it because they want to because they are interested in my life and not for other reasons...

Over the past month, I have come to realize that love is the bane of my existence. Well it feels that way anyway. I mean, love has started wars. I also realized that I have the ability to love unconditionally, and although that creeps me out and scares the crap out of me, it also makes me realize that I can love completely and because of that be completely loyal to someone.

Being afraid of love isn't an unnatural thing. It places your whole existence on the line for someone else. I mean being in love is bliss, but it also makes you sick to the stomach. I like to think of it as almost like falling pregnant and raising a child. This tiny spark is struck that slowly builds and builds until love is conceived, but through the process of the 'pregnancy' and 'raising the child' all emotions possible get thrown at you and physical feelings that you could think of are experienced. And it's unless you are able to persist through the bad times, the child doesn't grow to be a whole and complete person. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else, but I get it.

“Love. Fall in love and stay in love. Write only what you love, and love what you write. The key word is love. You have to get up in the morning and write something you love, something to live for.” -Ray Bradbury

I googled 'feelings of love', because I wanted to know what other people have had to say about it before I wrote this blog. The first few search findings weren't necessarily what I was looking for, but useful/funny none the less.
http://teenadvice.about.com/od/loveanddating/a/isitlove1.htm
http://www.wikihow.com/Express-Your-Feelings-to-the-One-You-Love

Feelings ~ Carol D. Meeks

I didn't know I could love
anyone as much as I love you
for the sound of your voice,
makes all my dreams come true.

You walk into a room, and
I know you have arrived;
my heart skips a beat when
you walk up to my side.

I hope this kind of magic stays
forever between us two,
and the whole wide world will
know that God sent me you.

Is there a right person?

We're all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you've been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there's no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn't until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems-the ones that make you truly who you are-that we're ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you're looking for. You're looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person - someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, "This is the problem I want to have."
- Galway Kinnell