I've been thinking a lot lately about life and how it is forever changing, even if we don't want it to. It's wierd how life happens though. I mean if you don't want things to change, they normally do and visa versa. Life generally happens when you least expect it, and things that you need rather than you want happen with out one knowing it.
A few years ago, when I first started branching out and exploring my sexuality(I must admit, my childhood was pretty sheltered and exploring generally means talking to other guys about what I felt). I cam across a guy who appeared to be have everything sorted out, his head screwed on right and his life set. I told him that all I wanted was someone to talk to and that the whole sex-with-a-guy thing would never actually happen with me. He said that, one way or another it would happen and that I should just accept it. I literally argued with him about me never getting intimate with a guy. Low and behold, 4 years later I was intimate with a guy. No matter how much I denied what I felt, who I was and who I was fighting not to be finally wore me out and I became myself for the first time in my life. Not much has changed about who I am, I mean, everything I was and wanted in life remained the same. I just accepted myself, which after 22 years of fighting took this ton of weight off my shoulders.
It's amazing how much relief there is in accepting yourself.
"It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but my own."
- Noel Coward
No comments:
Post a Comment