Shame...

I cam home quickly during my lunch to type this. I have spoken to many people in my life the last couple days and weeks about life, circumstances and the reason that gay guys are the way they are. There are a couple topics that have stood out though. Shame, proving ones self and need for love and they are all interlinked.

Shame...
Well shame is a pretty broad subject when your really think about it. When you feel shame for someone or their circumstances, it's almost like pitying them. But who honestly wants to be pitied. Almost like you are being looked down upon just because of the cards life has dealt you. That's one perspective of shame. The other is shame for one's self. This type of shame is the root of all happenings of the gay persona. We are ashamed because the world has labelled us, boxed us and tried to push us to the point of breaking. We feel shame for what we are, what we do and how we do it. But that just makes us be what we are even more.

Proving ones self...
We go through each minute, hour and day of our lives trying to find approval for what we do. We are unable to find self approval because of shame, so we search for it in places that aren't always the right paces when we look back at them. We throw ourselves into our jobs, our career and any other aspect of our lives that we can devote attention to, to prove that we are good at something. That's why you find gay men at top positions at major companies all around the world. Certain companies and institutions will even employ a gay man over a straight one simply because they work the way the do. Trying to prove that we are better than our colleagues.

Need for love...
This topic pretty much combines everything into one simple point. We need love. Everyone needs love. We were created to share ourselves with someone and give everything that we are. Partly because of shame, we strive even harder to find that someone that wants us and wants to spend eternity with us. It however ends up in serial dating, promiscuity and hurt. Because of this we try and seek approval from men around us.

It's not the way you act or the way you live your life that makes you gay. It is simply your desire for love and approval from another man.

Live each day like it's your last and give everything that you are in each situation.







Random bit at the end:
Pascal's Wager:
There is 50% chance that God exists. If in believing, you gain everything and lose nothing, and in not believing, you gain nothing and lose nothing. Then surely believing is common sense.