I have realised lately, that the gay community is a very insecure one. Each individual as well as the entire population is insecure. It might be due to the fact that a large portion of the community give the rest of us a bad name.
Several close friends of mine have had issues with their boyfriends when they were spending time with me. They don't know me, have never met me, but due to the 'stigma' that has been given to gay guys, the insecurities and the lack of trust, I can hardly talk to them any more. I do love my friends and really want them to be happy, and given the type of person that I am take a huge step back. And they know, well hopefully, that I will always be there for them whenever they need me.
That said, I do understand the reason for the insecurities, and although it is quite hurtful that people don't seem to trust me, I accept it because it is what has become of us. We are taught as young gay individuals to be very suspicious of everyone, because as you start to explore your sexuality and start talking to people, the reality hits. Although all you want is to love and be loved, many gay guys don't get that. and are willing to break relationships and further destroy and form of trust that someone might develop.
It should not be like this, the integrity of each person should not be overwhelmed by the lack of integrity of the whole. Why celebrate Gay Pride, if everything that the community seems to stand for is nothing to be proud of? Although I am apart of the community, I hate it when I am placed in that bracket, because I for one, am not proud to be apart of it. purely because of what I have talked about above.
A friend of mine over the weekend said something to me.
"I am me, before I am gay."
Being gay should not define who you are, it should not define the way you act and most definitely should not define your morals!
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I have to agree with you here. Once you are in a relationship, gay friends & friendships go out the windows. The stigma is I think is gays are promiscuous & can't be trusted.
ReplyDeleteIt is one of those things unfortunately.
Stay well
Jason
Well Ry, the old phrase "at the end of your life if you can count 5 good friends, consider yourself a rich man" comes to mind here. Friends come and go in our lives. I believe that many of them teach us lessons, if we examine each relationship and the interactions carefully. Unfortunately, there are way too many superficial friends that present themselves. Learning to recognize and prioritize friends is an art. Trust is always earned and not automatically assumed.
ReplyDeleteYou are a master at recognizing nuances in just about everything, this subject especially. And, for what its worth, I trust you explicitly because I know and understand your character.
Always,
-Lane