Time to blog...

One of my friends said to me the other day that I am the most 'together' gay guy that he knows. I have a degree, a good job, an awesome place to stay and I seem pretty happy. I just smiled, as I do. That's something I do easily is smile. Maybe because its physically easier than frowning and I'm just lazy. Even when I was a baby, my mother said I would lie in my cot, talking to myself, laughing, giggling and singing (As if that wasn't a giveaway). But even though smiling happens and life goes on, some things we just can't smile about. Sometimes feelings, emotions, circumstances and life itself makes us just not.

I blogged a while ago about the guys I've dated, and how each time I could blame them for things going wrong or ending. Looking back though, I realise that all those times I had issues that influenced the relationship and I've had to deal with them along the way. Some were harder than others to deal with.

Since coming out to my mother in December, I thought things would slowly level out. One thing I don't think I've mentioned before, is that I stopped my medication at the same time. It has been an extremely rough 3 months and things don't seem to be getting better, they're not getting worse but they sure as anything aren't leveling out. I'm anxious and frustrated, I haven't been gyming frequently, I haven't been to yoga in ages and my life feels like its one big mess.

I've recently started seeing a pretty amazing guy, he makes me smile(for the right reasons) and makes things seem good. When I'm with him, things seem together and seem right. I sure as anything don't want to mess this one up.

Life seems to happen even though we are trying to deal with all our issues. Do we just ignore the issues and carry on? Or do we need to deal with them so that we can live more full and happy lives?

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
Friedrich Nietzsche

I love life because what more is there.
Anthony Hopkins