Ups and Downs of Life

I drove to work in tears this morning. Everything seemed to hit me at once. I couldn't describe or explain all the thoughts that entered into my mind. I have been numb all day, I felt like telling my boss I don't feel well and need to go home. I didn't want to be around people, I didn't want to smile and I sure as anything didn't want to pretend.

I think this has been coming for a while though. It felt like all the emotion of the past and what I'm keeping to myself has finally caught up with me. I'm tired of pretending, I'm tired of lying to people about who or what I am.

I chatted to a friend last night about what I am going through and what.. well... how I feel like there's gotta be something more to this. The youth of our generation have been disillusioned by our circumstances. We have this ideology of about what life is supposed to be like thrown in our faces by media and film. This ideology about how life and love is supposed to happen. Like there's always a happy ending... I'm not saying it's wrong to want that, but at the same time, life isn't like that. There are ups and downs, and when life isn't like the movies and this ideal that we have been forced to believe, we crash and burn. Simply because we can't handle the reality that has been given to us.

It's being strong and coping with life on our own that makes us hard... This hardened emotionless outer shell that hides the true person that lies beneath

Once again I haven't blogged in a while. My life still seems to be my job. Which seems to becoming mundane and boring. Don't get me wrong I enjoy doing what I do, there's just no excitement in it. And as stated previously my boss does seem to place unneeded pressure on us (Everyone I work with). SO... any advice.... where to from here?

I pray each day for the will to carry on, the inspiration to do what I love and the motivation to do it well.