Inner Turmoil

I'm sitting at a beautiful restaurant in Rosebank Mall, Johannesburg called Tashas. Its a very beautifully decorated restaurant with cream walls and dark wood furnishings, and each of the restaurants in the Tashas group has its own decor piece that makes gives each restaurant it's own vibe... At this one, there are antique books hanging from the ceiling!

A very different beginning to my posts you must think... I was speaking to a friend last night and was saying how I have very little motivation. That positive outlook from when we were young that the future is a good one seems to have faded. I mean I'm 25 and live day to day with no inspiration or motivation for what is to come. I mean I wake up each day happy to be alive and content with circumstances. But I feel that I am becoming complacent... Too content and too easily happy with what's been given to me... I can't really blame anyone but myself...

One thing that seems to be getting to me, is my jobs... Well all 3 of them... I am lucky to have them and glad I was given the chance to study... BUT (there's always a but) I am in a line of work that even bettering myself or studying more won't make me earn more. I will still have the same clients, work for the same boss and live the same lifestyle...

Speaking if lifestyle, I enjoy the way I live (and I am living within my means) but I am not allowing myself to save. I blame my mother for the lifestyle that I am accustomed to, and the inability to save money! Hehe... I do love her dearly.

This post feels a bit random, but that's how I feel at the moment... Sigh. In Limbo, waiting on better days to come... The accepting and complacency needs to stop and fast, I don't want to look back 10 or 20 years down the line and regret what I did or didn't do.

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