Anxious? What for?

Have you ever felt anxious, for absolutely no reason? I mean obviously there are things to be anxious about, like life, impending doom and eminent change... But I felt anxious today, for no reason... Or no reason that I could think of. Strange, I guess it's just one of those days where you have to distract yourself with things like gym and shopping. Which I did, and it helped a little.

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it's the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friend." ~
Ralph Waldo Emerson

In chatting to guys, I have noticed that many, if not all of us have been lied to by others. I mean I know I have, and I promised myself a not so long time ago that I would do my utmost to not lie about myself, especially if the lie meant it would hurt someone else. It's amazing how fast a persons ability to trust can disappear, even after one lie. Walls start going up and letting people in becomes hard. I have lied to people before (about my sexuality), but that is something that in this point in my life I feel is necessary. And like I said, I have been lied to, I have been betrayed by the people that were closest to me. It feels like everything inside of you is being ripped to pieces. It takes time, but eventually your trust grows again. Getting to know people, sharing things helps.

I've got an interview on Friday in Johannesburg, and I do really want the job. Think that kinda added to my anxiousness. I took my tongue ring out today. It was fun while it lasted, but I'm really over it! I got it because I felt somewhat rebellious towards the middle of this year. And the tongue ring gave me some release. Time to move on.